Jan 7, 2010
Jan 6, 2010
Jan 5, 2010
Regrouping
I have not binged today, and I have exercised. But I have not restricted as well as I should. Tomorrow I'm getting back on track. I just must.
Jan 4, 2010
Jan 3, 2010
In Which the Protagonist Ups the Wangst
Intake for today:
1 cup of black tea (2 artificial sweeteners) = about 10 cals?
2 sugarless chewing gum = 20 cals? Overestimating is better than underestimating, didn't you know?
1 cup of green tea (2 artificial sweeteners) = about 10 cals?
1 can of diet pepsi= 10 cals?
2 Ferrero Rondnoir Dark Chocolates = (1 piece: 52.5 cals, 3.5g fat) = 105 cals + 7g fat
Yeah. That's the issue this time.
Today is day number 25 since I restarted this whole business of serious caloric intake restriction. Instead of diving head-in, I paced it beautifully; starting with cutting down-- consuming no more than 900 calories and 10 grams of fat per day, without exercising. The main meals were rice cakes (blandness!) and a certain brand of rice crackers- the name of which escapes me at the moment- which tasted like heaven. This went on for a week. After the seven days passed, I added light strength training to the routine. After another seven days, I discovered the versatile wonder of canned, low fat, fulfilling goods of a (cheap! And suitable for vegetarians!) brand called 'Mara' (baked beans, kidney beans, peas, chick peas, etc). I'd have two cans a day, and took care the calories consumed did not exceed the arbitrary 600 mark. The exercise regieme remained the same. After that I modified my scheme as explained in a previous post to lessen the calorie count while adding more exercise. I have reached my first goal of 110 pounds, and lost an inch from the all the important places (hips, waist & chest).
I have been doing so well. Yet I binged on friday. I used the excuse of my being at home. Now that I'm on my own again, what justification won't ring hollow?
Wasn't it just yesterday that I declared that I won't lose--not this try!-- 'cause by all that it holy, this time it's serious. so why is god's name am I straying? Why am I letting the little temptations win over the battle? Why am I so weak, so pathatic, so unable to control this savagery within me that I cave in at the first whiff of enticment?
I am so angry with me right now.
1 cup of black tea (2 artificial sweeteners) = about 10 cals?
2 sugarless chewing gum = 20 cals? Overestimating is better than underestimating, didn't you know?
1 cup of green tea (2 artificial sweeteners) = about 10 cals?
1 can of diet pepsi= 10 cals?
2 Ferrero Rondnoir Dark Chocolates = (1 piece: 52.5 cals, 3.5g fat) = 105 cals + 7g fat
Yeah. That's the issue this time.
Today is day number 25 since I restarted this whole business of serious caloric intake restriction. Instead of diving head-in, I paced it beautifully; starting with cutting down-- consuming no more than 900 calories and 10 grams of fat per day, without exercising. The main meals were rice cakes (blandness!) and a certain brand of rice crackers- the name of which escapes me at the moment- which tasted like heaven. This went on for a week. After the seven days passed, I added light strength training to the routine. After another seven days, I discovered the versatile wonder of canned, low fat, fulfilling goods of a (cheap! And suitable for vegetarians!) brand called 'Mara' (baked beans, kidney beans, peas, chick peas, etc). I'd have two cans a day, and took care the calories consumed did not exceed the arbitrary 600 mark. The exercise regieme remained the same. After that I modified my scheme as explained in a previous post to lessen the calorie count while adding more exercise. I have reached my first goal of 110 pounds, and lost an inch from the all the important places (hips, waist & chest).
I have been doing so well. Yet I binged on friday. I used the excuse of my being at home. Now that I'm on my own again, what justification won't ring hollow?
Wasn't it just yesterday that I declared that I won't lose--not this try!-- 'cause by all that it holy, this time it's serious. so why is god's name am I straying? Why am I letting the little temptations win over the battle? Why am I so weak, so pathatic, so unable to control this savagery within me that I cave in at the first whiff of enticment?
I am so angry with me right now.
Jan 2, 2010
Stuck at My Parents'
Yesterday went as I planned excersize-wise, but not so when it came to eating. I binged, and it was bad. I could have contained it, but I didn't. Today I'm forced to attend a party of sorts, and though I will not be able to get out of eating, I vow I will do my best consume as little calories as I can, and I vow that I will not binge.
It's too bad that the new year had to begin with me spending it at my parent's, because I already knew losing my control was more likely to be the result. I took a laxative last night and it emptied my bowels this morning, but I always get bloated afterwards because of the gas, and so I'm not feeling great right now, and I cannot wait to go back to my rented room. When I get back, I'm not going to weigh myself, but I will take my measurements to see if they changed. I don't think they did (more like I hope to god they didn't), but even if they did, I will not dwell on it. I am taking back my control, and I have the next four weeks to do so comfortable.
2010 will not be a failure, because I refuse to let it be so.
-----Edit:
This day went fantastically well so I just had to write it down!
I have managed to get through the party I had to attend with only eating the equivalent of a plate of salad! And because of some unexpected circumstance, I even got around having to eat the fatty dessert! To top it off, my measurements AND weight are still the same! Yes, I said I wasn't going to weigh myself, what can I say, I just couldn't!
I have finished my allocated exercise, too. I am sooooooooooooooo tired right now! A bit depressed from having to go to work tomorrow, though. But whatever. If all goes as planned (fingers crossed!) I won't have to go back home till the end of the month. I am officially back in control!
Kisses,
CC
Jan 1, 2010
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